Creatures Caves

I feel like I'm going insane.

My landlady's dog seems to think it's alright to bark at all times of the night and day. Lucky me, she's docile and has never been scolded before so she's taking my scolding to heart. She still barks whenever the neighbors' cats wander into our yard, though, which agitate my boys who are stuck in their crates at night.

My boys used to sleep in their crates every night (part of their kennel training) so they have no qualms about being in there until one of the girl dogs finds something to get excited about. Just... ugh. It's another... what. 6 or 7 days. I'm still beat, though. (And as a result might not be as active!)

There is a silver lining in all this, though. The hubby's willing to help by feeding the cats on his way home which is super helpful because it means I won't be using as much gas tending to her pets. I drive the SUV and he has a motorcycle.

Speaking of, though, the 300-ish dollars I'm making by caring for my landlady's dogs are going straight to new tires for the hubby's bike and we need a new expense like I need a hole in the head. His back tire is cracking and I don't want him to get hurt or die so it's pretty necessary.

It feels awful that I can't keep any of the money that I earn even though I do all the chores around the house. The hubby won't even put his laundry in the hamper. He's always optimistic when he talks about things that 'we' can do around the house to improve our lives but I'm always the one who gets stuck doing it.

The cherry on top seems to be my prescription, though. These birth-control pills seem to have me on a horrible, almost violent hormonal roller-coaster. My last prescription mellowed me out but these just make me sad and angry all the time it seems. I can't switch back to my old pills because they don't have them here.

Exercise helps but I still feel depressed. I can't even exercise properly because of the shin splints that I get from walking 4 dogs, one of whom is just a big, disobedient tank who pulls and hurts my back. It seems like video games are my only retreat from my problems these days. I don't even feel totally comfortable coming here to rant because I don't want to sour things for anybody else. I have to get it out or else I'll be miserable for a long time. Exercise, meditation, video games, or whatever only do so much when you can't even find the time to breathe.