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 Lollipop Lord C-Rex   |
I understand Jacob, I guess it is a pretty sensitive topic. I just wanted some advice, but in hindsight it probably isn't wise discussing it on a public forum. Should I delete the posts? |
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 Wee Scrivener Trell |
Hi there~ The Hug Corner was posted for people to come and vent their feelings, get things off their chests, or to share what's troubling them so they can get some advice. Given the nature of the forum, we're bound to see some heavier topics on the board. Bearing that in mind, if the moderation team sees something concerning, we tend to get on it as soon as possible. Jacob, if you are uncomfortable with the topic C-Rex is discussing you're free to express that, but I ask that you please refrain from backseat moderation. If we see something that is inappropriate, we will handle it. As always, we advise that if anyone is having struggles with depression or suicidal thoughts to please seek the help of a counselor, or call one of the many hotlines available to you. Thank you! Trell "Holy crap in a casket!" |
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 Jacob |
people can discuss as they please in my books, i was just keeping other people in mind *shrug* Not really active around these parts anymore. |
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Lollipop Lord C-Rex |
I decided to remove the posts as they seemed quite revealing and the last thing I want is to upset people, or possibly even trigger them. Hope everyone understands, and thanks for your support. |
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 c1anddsaddict |
myI'm worried about my pets. My family is moving to Dallas, but my step-dad refuses to pay for a pet deposit on an apartment. He calls it wasting his money. At one point, he schemed to have the pets euthanized behind my and my mother's back. He's the only one with a job, and the only one who can get one right now. I've set up a gofundme page here to help them. If I can come up with the money for a pet deposit, my pets will be safe. I'm also angry with my stepfather over this, and it's mutual. My mom wants me to make up with him, but I don't think I'm ready to. Especially not with the fate of my pets still up in the air because of him. To make matters worse, I'm planning on going to Oklahoma for a while. Unless I can come up with bus-fare, he's going to be the only one who would drive me there. I'm not even sure he'd agree to do it, and if he did, the trip would be awkward. I'm trying to hold everything together, but I'm not sure I can. DS village My TCR norns STAY AWAY FROM THE MOLDY, DISEASED CHICKEN NUGGET STASH!!! |
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 Tea Queen Laura Administrator |
Having them euthanized seems shocking to me. Surely, if the worst comes to the worst, re-homing them would be a much preferable option?  Not just for the animals, but for you as well? I know if I was in your shoes, I wouldn't be able to deal with my conscience if I had to have my cat put down because I couldn't afford to take her with me. I'm so sorry.I really hope it doesn't come to that though and that you find a way to raise your pet deposit, or that your stepdad has a change of heart. I really feel for you in this horrible situation and I wish I could do more to help. You have my hugs! |
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 Tartan Badger Hellfrozeover |
Your story is absolutely heartbreaking I have two dogs and they're family, so I can only imagine what you must be going through! I've posted your page on my Tumblr, so hopefully it'll get a bit of a boost that way. DUNDUNDUUUUUN! |
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c1anddsaddict |
We're going to try to re-home them if it comes to it. My mom, sister and I have no intention to euthanize them unless we have no other choice. My step-dad just disagrees, and at this point I don't trust him not to do anything underhanded. Thanks for the support DS village My TCR norns STAY AWAY FROM THE MOLDY, DISEASED CHICKEN NUGGET STASH!!! |
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 Peppery One Papriko |
Why is he so after euthanizing them? Those are absolutely valid and sensible things you are trying to do. Are you sure he isn't just a cruel jerk? I really hope you find a good solution for this pet problem... Lets play plants! Photosynthesis... Photosynthesis... Photosynthesis... |
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Tea Queen Laura Administrator |
Are there any updates about Julie and Rosie? I hope everything's okay! |
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Lollipop Lord C-Rex |
I know this thread doesn't see much activity, but anyway... My 12 year-old sister has decided to go to the staff at her school and lie, saying that our dad hits her, and he is required to go in to chat tomorrow. Funnily enough, it is her who always gets away with hitting people - one time she even poured boiling water on me, not to mention all the time she has given my mum abuse. I think this probably stems from last night, where my dad threw her out of the house because she was behaving in a disgusting way, and she's probably trying to get one over on him. I'm worried though, because if it's taken further, I hate to think what will happen due to her petty allegations. |
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 TigerCivet |
That sounds horrible! Have you tried talking with her about this? Maybe you are one of the persons who could get her to reason? Otherwise you could talk about it with your family and try not to panic, one child accusing a parent of hitting her does not make your dad guilty or anything. I hope things will turn out the best for all of you! |
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Lollipop Lord C-Rex |
Thanks TigerCivet. My parents have just gone to the school to discuss this. She's been behaving terribly towards them but this has been the worst so far, and all because my dad had to push her out of the house to calm down. |
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Lollipop Lord C-Rex |
I apologise for reviving this topic if the moderators would have preferred it to stay dormant. I've been feeling pretty down a lot lately in regards to finding a job, and also in regards to dating. I hate going to the job centre and honestly see no point in being alive if I am forced into doing something I hate for 8 hours every single day of the week. I'd much rather be dead. Dating is just as bad - guys either say they don't know what they want (essentially wasting my time) or just cut off contact for no reason whatsoever. It's been nearly two years since I signed up to these two dating websites and so far I haven't been on one single date. |
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 Lurhstaap |
I can't help much about jobs. I feel very similarly about it TBH. It's something you just endure in order to get access to the stuff that life is worth living for. If you're lucky you might eventually find a job that you don't 100% despise and that's not so bad. As far as dating goes though, this is my best advice, honestly - stop trying so hard. Yes, you will wait a long time, and it will be lonely. But you will spare yourself this sort of frustration and the loop-de-loop of trying and being disappointed with person after person even if you are "successful" in 'meeting someone'. What worked for me was just not actively looking, but yet being open to the idea if it happened to come along. Of course, I was a virgin until 23. But I've been in exactly one serious real-life relationship and it's still ongoing. So. *shrug* Patience pays off. As does a bit of discretion and self-respect. Being alone sucks, but it's a lot better than being with someone just for the sake of being with someone no matter how big a jerk they are or how wrong they are for you. Conclude with killer catchphrase. (Lurhstaap) "This is not knowledge - this is information!" New Model Army, "Courage" |
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 jcnorn |
I'm feeling you on the job part. I had those exact same feelings, and now I got to join a group via the unemployment agency that is confirming my feelings and is helping me actively working toward getting my dream job (or rather, the job for me). Because no one should settle, life becomes so much more worthwhile if you have a job that you enjoy going to. So don't give up, though you might want to seek out people around you that can help push you in the right directions. The group I'm in now have weekly group meetings where we discuss motivation, goals, comfort zones and all sorts of things. And we also get to do some exercises, to try and help us get better in achieving what we want and realizing where we are in certain areas in our lives. And then there's a weekly personal meeting with a coach that gives you a push in a more tailored way. See if perhaps your unemployment agency have something similiar, even if it's just a weekly meeting to have discussion about various things. It can trigger your mind into thinking of new ways to get the job *you* want. The dating thing I'm clueless on, I gave up on that sort of life 5 years ago. I like being on my own. |
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 KC11 |
I'm in college, on my last quarter, and as stressful as that is that's not really my big problem. I'm taking a light quarter because these are the only two classes I need, and they're both easy classes. The thing is, right now I feel like I'm at a bit of a crossroads in my life. Not even concerning college or what sort of job/creative stuff I want to do. No, it's something more personal, something I don't really feel comfortable specifying, so sorry that this is a little vague. I just kinda feel trapped between two situations. I want to be true to myself, but is what I'm thinking of really true to myself? Do I genuinely want to change my situation, or do I just want to follow a whim that's going to crash and burn? Is what I want really worth destroying what I have now? Do I even have the option to have my cake and eat it too? Probably not. Am I ok with that being a fact? I value freedom, and I feel like I don't have that entirely in my current situation. But I know in life compromises have to be made. Am I ok with this compromise? Should I be? Advice would be nice, but I understand if that's too hard to do with how vague this is. Do not upset the ugly worm, lest it be a dragon in disguise. (>oo)> |
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Lollipop Lord C-Rex |
Truthfully, KC11, I would advise you do what you want to do, otherwise you'll just end up regretting it in the end. I'm feeling kinda crappy because I guy I've been speaking to online for a week decided to go ahead and block me today for no reason. And I also saw one of my other crushes' profiles on a dating website. |
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 Mtorolite |
Played Experiment 12 (warning: harsh and adult language, flashing lights, and dark themes) last night and it affected my dissociative/schizotypal issues. Hard to explain to someone who doesn't have the same problems but having little panic attacks because nothing is real and the sirens and screaming are too loud isn't exactly the most fun thing to do at 4 in the morning. At least I have friends to comfort me who are just as insomniac as I am. C-Rex wrote: Try to stop experiencing romantic love and desire as an emotion. Humans are too flighty and fleeting to reliably satisfy such an emotion anyways. In der wüste ausgesetzt Dein herz, eine granate Die mich auseinander fetzt |
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Lollipop Lord C-Rex |
Hey, it's been months since I was last here, but I'd like to say that nearly two weeks ago I received news that the friend I had spoke about a year ago in this thread sadly passed away, after taking his own life. The funeral is this Thursday. I think I'm coping well with it but obviously it's not been easy. I miss him so much. |
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jcnorn |
I'm so sorry to hear that C-Rex *offers big hugs* |
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Lollipop Lord C-Rex |
Thanks jcnorn. I went to the funeral today, and it was a very good service, plus the crematorium was packed, much more than I expected. The gathering afterwards was nice and I got to meet some of his friends and relatives. If only he knew how much he was loved. |
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jcnorn |
That's the issue isn't it? When in that state one doesn't see the love that is around them. All they see is what their brain ghosts are telling them. Clouding everything good out |
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Lollipop Lord C-Rex |
I've been there before and can understand what he was going through. He'd quit a job he had last year because he found it boring and he went downhill since. I think he had just grown tired of everything and had lost any strength to carry on. I wish he'd spoken to me about his problems but unfortunately he wasn't the type to be open with his feelings. |
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jcnorn |
Yeah, people not used to opening up won't suddenly do that when in that state either. They might close up even more instead and hide within themselves and then pretend everything is fine to the public :/ |
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Lollipop Lord C-Rex |
I'm just glad I got a chance to speak to him before he died - the last conversation we had was two weeks prior and the ones preceding it seemed full of hope. The last time I messaged him whilst he was alive was on the 1st but he didn't reply - it was always a hit and miss if he would come online or not. Silly Chris. Our last conversation ended with him saying "lol" which I think sums up everything about him. He was a wonderfully hilarious guy and life has suddenly gotten darker since his passing. |
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jcnorn |
There is this qoute by Robin Williams. I don't know it exactly, but it says something about the people who suffer depression and such are the ones that usually make their life's mission to cheer other people up. Because they know how dark it can get and how terrible it feels. And they don't want anyone else to be in that place. |
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Lollipop Lord C-Rex |
Robin Williams' story is very sad - I'm not sure I spoke with Chris about it back in 2014, but I definitely recall him (Chris) saying at one point that you can have all the money in the world and still suffer from depression. He helped me seek help for my own problems and always offered me advice, despite how shy and unopen I was at the time. I wish I'd got more chances to speak with Chris on mic between 2014 and 2016 but he could tell I'd gotten more confident the final time we spoke on mic around May this year. I owed him an awful lot. I just wish I had recorded our last conversation. I do have a YouTube video I did with him in 2014, and decided to release it a couple of weeks ago in his memory. I would link it but it might have a bit of swearing in it and I'm not sure the mods would be too happy about it. I'm just happy I managed to get that recording to remember him by, as well as the keyboard and mouse he gave to me in class once. |
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jcnorn |
He sounds like such an amazing person! I wish I could've talked/known him as well. |
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Lollipop Lord C-Rex |
I did talk to him about Creatures at one point but I don't think he was interested - he said some parts are dated which I can agree on. Plus he probably wouldn't have had the attention span either as he suffered from pretty bad ADHD. He mentioned he started taking medication for it during one of our last conversations but another friend said he might have stopped shortly before his death due to the side effects. Sadly I think that had he sought help for his ADHD sooner he might still be here. The first time he suspected it was in 2014 but he put off visiting the doctor. It was around the same time I received counselling after he advised I see a doctor. |
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jcnorn |
Yeah, it really is a project to get started with Creatures in the first place. It takes attention and interest. Seeking help is important! Says I who does not seek help, but you know, it's more important for the people around me to seek help when they need it <3 |
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Lollipop Lord C-Rex |
Thanks for the kind words jcnorn. And I agree with what you said, it's always important to go to someone whenever you're feeling ill, physically or mentally. There will always be someone there to listen. Anyway, I've just been browsing through some old photos from a LAN tournament that I went to one time with Chris. I came across a photo of everyone stood on the stage, chris included, and I just want to cry. He seemed so happy in that photo, why must did he have to die in such a heartbreaking way? I don't think, regardless of anything, that I am ever going to get over this. It's left a big bloody wound and I don't think it will ever heal properly.  |
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jcnorn |
*offers big hugs* it sucks But you have the memories, the good ones, where he is smiling. And that's worth soooo much. It'll take time to get over something like this. And I'm not sure if you'll ever get over it either, but it'll be easier to handle the pain. |
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Lollipop Lord C-Rex |
Thanks. I'm sure he wouldn't want me to get all upset over this. I asked the organiser of the LAN tournament if he has any photos from when I went with Chris to the LAN - in hindsight, I'm so glad I decided to go because it was the last one Chris ever went to. There was another I went to later in September that year, hoping Chris would show up, but I think he was too busy with his job to go. |
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Lollipop Lord C-Rex |
I've not told anyone this, but I broke down crying in the toilets at uni the other day, because I had a milestone meeting with my lecturer about where I was up to with my assignment and I had missed parts of it out and also messed up talking at a few points. Yesterday I felt very run down and stressed out as I keep thinking I'm behind with my work even though I'm not. I dunno, sometimes I just feel like saying "I give up" but I know it is the lack of motivation talking. |
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